Let’s talk about co-parenting… (sighhhh)
Because sometimes it’s smooth sailing… and sometimes it’s like trying to co-captain the Titanic AFTER it hit the iceberg.
Here’s the truth though… co-parenting is hard! It’s this weird blend of diplomacy, customer service and emotional gymnastics. You’re constantly balancing “I want what’s best for my kid” with “I also want to throat punch someone.”
When my child’s dad and I split, I swore I’d be the cool co-parent (and for the most part I was and still am) – chill, flexible, easygoing, etc. I told myself I was doing it for the kids, but let’s be real… I just didn’t want the drama. So, I said “yes” to things I didn’t want to do, responded to texts I should’ve ignored and pretended not to be bothered by things that 100% bothered me.
But you can’t pour from an empty cup – and mine was bone dry.
That’s when I learned the magic word: boundaries! Say it with me now… BOUNDARIES!
Here’s the truth though… co-parenting is hard! It’s this weird blend of diplomacy, customer service and emotional gymnastics. You’re constantly balancing “I want what’s best for my kid” with “I also want to throat punch someone.”
When my child’s dad and I split, I swore I’d be the cool co-parent (and for the most part I was and still am) – chill, flexible, easygoing, etc. I told myself I was doing it for the kids, but let’s be real… I just didn’t want the drama. So, I said “yes” to things I didn’t want to do, responded to texts I should’ve ignored and pretended not to be bothered by things that 100% bothered me.
But you can’t pour from an empty cup – and mine was bone dry.
That’s when I learned the magic word: boundaries! Say it with me now… BOUNDARIES!
Boundaries are like under-eye concealers for your sanity – you can’t see them, but you notice when they’re missing (you know what I’m saying??)
They sound like this:
“We can discuss that later.”
“Let’s keep communication about the kids.”
“No, I don’t need to know what your new girlfriend thinks about my parenting.”
Setting boundaries doesn’t make you difficult – it makes you emotionally employed. Because let’s face it, co-parenting is basically a part-time job… with no benefits, unpredictable hours and way too many (unsolicited) performance reviews.
And when you hold to your boundaries, you’re not just protecting yourself – you’re modeling something powerful for your kids. You’re showing them that respect, calmness and self-control are possible even when the chat gets spicy.
These days, I treat co-parenting like a business relationship. We don’t have to be friends, we just have to meet deadlines and stay professional. It’s kind of like… “Corporate America, but with shared custody.”
So if you’re out there doing the co-parenting shuffle, remember: it’s okay to say no. It’s okay to hang up. It’s okay to protect your peace. Because peace is priceless (and you can’t Venmo me enough child support to replace it!)
At the end of the day, the goal isn’t perfection. It’s raising good humans who know how to love, respect and set their own boundaries too.
And if you need a reminder – repeat after me again: “I am not the emotional support ex.”
They sound like this:
“We can discuss that later.”
“Let’s keep communication about the kids.”
“No, I don’t need to know what your new girlfriend thinks about my parenting.”
Setting boundaries doesn’t make you difficult – it makes you emotionally employed. Because let’s face it, co-parenting is basically a part-time job… with no benefits, unpredictable hours and way too many (unsolicited) performance reviews.
And when you hold to your boundaries, you’re not just protecting yourself – you’re modeling something powerful for your kids. You’re showing them that respect, calmness and self-control are possible even when the chat gets spicy.
These days, I treat co-parenting like a business relationship. We don’t have to be friends, we just have to meet deadlines and stay professional. It’s kind of like… “Corporate America, but with shared custody.”
So if you’re out there doing the co-parenting shuffle, remember: it’s okay to say no. It’s okay to hang up. It’s okay to protect your peace. Because peace is priceless (and you can’t Venmo me enough child support to replace it!)
At the end of the day, the goal isn’t perfection. It’s raising good humans who know how to love, respect and set their own boundaries too.
And if you need a reminder – repeat after me again: “I am not the emotional support ex.”
(Paige Gurgainers is a mother of three girls, and a digital journalist for Webster Parish Journal.)