Have a resolutionary New Year

A soon-to-be Happy New Year to all, friends and neighbors. Your obedient messenger took a temporary breather to get in some last minute shopping and check on the status of some of our holiday traditions. Happy to say most are doing well. 

Although there’s still a few days to go, we thought it might be appropriate to mention a couple of resolutions your humble rocker is considering. We do, however, reserve the right to change our mind when the woman who promised to love, honor and feed our furbabies five times a day tells us to do so.

Rocker’s first resolution could be better described as irresolute. It could be harder to keep than our system can bear. I would like to resolve to be less critical of my fellow inhabitants of this planet, especially those seeking public office on any level.

As that thought formed, the images of Beto O’Rourke, Stacey Abrams, Mitch McConnell, Alexandria Ocasio Cortez, The Donald and a directory of Congress did smite the brain. This collection of intellectually deformed  is more than reason to search the WWW for nonflatteratory adjectives.  

To quote Charlie Brown on just about any occasion: Rats.

Rocker annually tries to resolve to be tolerant of the views of others, but that usually vanishes before the imaginary ink dries on the mental parchment. Considering these upheaving societal times, it is most difficult to remain tolerant when airwaves and social media brings us the latest Wokeisms from a myriad of untellectuals.

We are amused that these ideas are called woke. One of our progressive friends tells us that term defines millions across America who have “woke up” to our countless failures as a country. These suddenly enlightened awakened are showing us how we can be better; that by destroying the current system we create Utopia. All we unlightened must do is shut up, pay up and do what wokers tell us.

To learn more about what it means to be woke, it may help to check out the works of Engels and Marx (not the brothers) or Alinsky. One may find the philosophies remarkably similar.

Another resolution that may prove hard to keep is the promise to give Republicans credit when they deserve it. A few Congresses ago, Republicans held the majority in both House and Senate. To put it mildly, they got their heads handed to them daily by the minority Democrats. As my ol’ Daddy used to say, they could screw up a two-car parade.

Today, the Elephants are barely a majority in the House only. If the Biden Democrats are as smart as their media hypemeisters would have us believe, there won’t be a lot of credit to be given. Republicans seem quite capable of mucking up their own stuff without help from the friendly opposition. The Red Wave is proof. 

This isn’t a resolution, but it is resolved that occasionally we poke a little fun at some of those who love to give us insignificants a poke. For example: 

  • What has 12 arms, 12 legs and an IQ of 50? The Kardashian/Jenner women.
  • What do you get when you breed a ground hog and Stephen Colbert? Six more weeks of bad monologues. 
  • Do you know what you have if you find Whoopi Goldberg buried up to her neck in cement? Not enough cement.
  • Do you know why Donald Trump loves to Tweet? It’s the best communication venue for a birdbrain.

Here’s hoping you make no resolutions, but are resolute to make this little planet a little better.  And don’t listen to those who claim to know what’s best for us because they believe they’re smarter. Remember, there are lots of people who are educated far beyond their intelligence.

 – Pat Culverhouse