If you have a Facebook, then I am sure you are aware of the whole “Memories” thing that pops up. If not, it is a collection of your past Facebook posts, photos, anniversaries, etc. Half of it, I do not care to see because they are either me being super cringy 10 years ago, photos with exes or particular days of the year that I just don’t wish to remember.
On the other hand, there are some that I love to see pop up every year, like funny videos with my sisters, photos of the girls when they were younger and old memories shared between a group of high school friends about 14 years ago- a group of friends that I thought would be friends forever.
There have been more times than I can count in the last few weeks that I have found myself wishing I could go back in time to when things were much simpler, like high school. I did not exactly love the whole schooling part, but just not having a damn thing to worry about.
My oldest, Emerson, is entering her last year of elementary school and will soon be moving on to the same school I graduated from and while I do fondly remember high school and most of my childhood for that matter, I also not so fondly remember a couple tricky transition years. And I think we may soon be approaching those years (to my dismay).
Going through this transition from tween to teen was indeed rough and I am sure parenting through this transition will be, as well. Remind me to ask my mother, BUT I am fairly sure she got extremely tired of hearing my blare, “Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman” by Britney Spears, from my room on repeat for days on end. But that’s really why this transition period is so tricky – you’re no longer a child exactly, but you’re also nowhere near being an adult.
But I can talk from experience here and have shared a few of the things with Emerson that were harder for me during this time, in hopes that it makes it a little less harsh for her.
Number one: Friendship Drama
And there will be plenty of it. Emerson already has a good grasp on what a good friend looks like – ones that cheer you on and pick you up, ones that are respectful and have your back when you’re not around. And at all costs…do not tolerate mean girl behavior, as a matter of fact, stand up to it.
Number two: Beauty is Confidence
Being beautiful isn’t about how you look on the outside even though society may not always make it seem that way, especially with social media these days. (And yes, social media was a thing when I was in high school – I am not that old – but it most definitely is on a different level now) Being beautiful is how you treat others, how freely you share in laughter and not seeking validation from anyone except yourself.
Lastly, number three: Nothing (and I mean nothing) will ever change my love for you!
My love for all my girls is not conditional. It doesn’t depend on how many things they achieve, the paths they take, who they choose to love, how many mistakes they make or how many times they slam their bedroom doors shut and scream that they hate me! There is nothing that they could ever do or say that would make them love them any less. I will always have their backs and be the loudest one in the room cheering them on.
We might have a few knock-down-drag-outs during this transition period, and this may be the hardest time of my parenting journey and that’s what I am going to do – parent you! And you may hate me for it for a little while, but in the end my deepest desire is to be your mother now, so that maybe we can be friends later.
(Paige Gurgainers is a mother of three girls, publisher of Bienville Parish Journal and Claiborne Parish Journal and a digital journalist for Webster Parish Journal.)