I can honestly say that I have successfully managed to make it almost eleven years now without one of my kids telling me they hate me… yet! 

BUT the three-year old did tell me to “piss off” the other day. I have no idea where she heard this because that is not amongst my list of favored curse words and weirdly, she said it with a bit of a British accent??? So, I concluded she most likely picked it up from her iPad. 

I can’t remember what exactly happened to make her yell, “piss off” at me, but I do know I was trying to hold it together. I was disappointed of course, but I was also a tad bit humored by it and even considered adding it to my list, but only using it in the British accent though, of course. (Go on, you try saying it without the accent.) 

I calmly and straight-faced explained to her that she cannot be going about telling people to piss off (although I do wish it was socially acceptable). She seemed to understand because she didn’t say it again… until supper time.  

She and Ashton always fight over what color bowl they want to eat out of. I have never understood this. Like, who cares what color it is. It is a bowl, and they are the same exact size, and they are holding the same amount of food. But I digress. I guess Ashton picked up the bowl Kameron wanted and there was a short-lived screaming match before Kameron (yep, you guessed it) told her sister to piss off.  

This time I was not humored at all and had to be a little sterner. I told her that if she continued yelling profanities under my roof then she wouldn’t eat at all. (I was bluffing okay. My kids have never gone to bed hungry.) I also told her that if I ever told my mother to piss off that she would have knocked me to Bangladesh (for legal purposes… she was joking!) 

Again, I am still unsure how this happened especially when the older two consider the word “guts” to be a swear word. But I think the threat of not getting supper sank in because the girl likes to eat, and she has now gone 3 whole days without cursing. Hopefully, she will not be breaking that streak anytime soon. I will keep you updated.

(Paige Gurgainers is a mother of three girls, publisher of Bienville Parish Journal and Claiborne Parish Journal and a digital journalist for Webster Parish Journal.)