Her husband gave her an electric skillet for Christmas. Three days later, he gave her its lid.

On her birthday.

“Pitiful,” she said.

She no longer has the husband, but she’s stuck with the birthdate.

“By December 28,” she said, “everyone’s Christmased and partied and gift-gived out.”

Her story is the story of many others, and each tale ends the same: A potential gift dies in Birthday No-Man’s Land.

These are The People Born Too Close To Christmas. They are short-changed annually because they committed the cardinal sin of being conceived during that first inviting, luscious breath of spring. In a world where timing is everything, they blew it right out of the proverbial chute.

They would kill for a February 29 birth date.

They get presents wrapped in Christmas paper — if they get a birthday present at all. An unofficial poll reveals the most common statement made when handing a present to The People Born Too Close To Christmas is this: “Well, here’s your birthday present and your Christmas present.”

Sigh …

So does this mean they’ll get a two-times-bigger-than-normal present? I mean, it would be different if they said that to you and handed you the keys to a new truck.

But that doesn’t happen. Again, unofficial poll results reveal the presents are often smaller, usually because the gift-giver is thinking, “This sap had the nerve to be born during Christmas when my wallet is already stretched tighter than Santa’s belt.”

They’re lucky to get a skillet lid.

Or a belt.

There is no exact date that determines whether or not you are one of The People Born Too Close To Christmas. “Loved ones” responsible for remembering that you even have a birthday are often too busy before Christmas and too broke after.

Double Jeopardy.

My friend Glenda was born December 17, but the only birthday party she ever had was when she turned 16.

“It’s a bad deal,” Glenda said.

Now Glenda has a daughter, born on December 6 and 16 years old.

“It’s a bad deal,” Glenda’s birthday-poor daughter said.

Again, there is no set rule. A December 6 birth date might give you some breathing room, or you could be in for a rough road if you’re hanging around with a stingy crowd. It all depends on perception and how well your loved ones handle guilt.

Logic suggests that if your birth date is after December 20, you are solidly in the No Gift Danger Zone. And the closer it gets to Christmas, the more risk you run of getting either nothing or — this is worse — a fruitcake with candles in it.

Contact Teddy at teddy@latech.edu