There’s a different kind of ache that settles in your chest when your child is hurt…and it’s sharper when that hurt comes from a “grown” adult. (Those parentheses are carefully placed for a reason.)
Kids can be cruel. We know that. Peer conflict is part of growing up. A harsh word from another child, a disagreement on the playground, a friend who disappoints them – those moments sting undoubtedly, but they’re also part of learning resilience, communication,and boundaries.
But when an adult treats your child unfairly, dismissively or unkindly… that hits different.Because adults are supposed to know better.
When the hurt comes from a peer, I can walk my child through it with teaching moments. We talk about empathy. About conflict resolution. About standing up for yourself while still showing grace. There’s room for growth on both sides.
When it comes from an adult, though, the lesson shifts.
An adult holds power… whether they realize it or not. Their words carry weight. Their actions leave impressions that children don’t have the tools to fully process yet. A careless comment, an unfair accusation, a dismissive tone – those things linger longer when they come from someone who should be safe.
And as a mother, my instinct is simple: protect.But protection doesn’t always mean confrontation. And it doesn’t always mean silence either.
Navigating those moments requires discernment. I have to pause and ask: What does my child need right now? Validation? Advocacy? Perspective? Or reassurance that what happened wasn’t okay and it wasn’t their fault?
Sometimes it means stepping in and addressing the adult directly. Calmly, clearly and without theatrics because modeling respectful boundaries matters just as much as defending our children.
Other times, it means teaching my child that even adults can be wrong and that they are allowed to trust their own feelings when something doesn’t sit right.
I want my kids to know two things at the same time: You should respect adults. And you are not required to accept mistreatment from anyone. That balance is delicate.
So I listen. I believe them. I remind them of who they are… confident, capable and worthy of kindness. And I show them that I’ll stand beside them, not over them, as they learn how to navigate a world that isn’t always gentle.
Because one day, they’ll be adults too. And I hope they grow into the kind who choose kindness, understand their influence and never forget how powerful their words can be ESPECIALLY to a child who’s still figuring out who they are.
And if they ever doubt it, I’ll be right there. Mama bear instincts fully intact. And let me be clear – I am watching closely. Taking mental notes. Choosing when to speak and when to wait because while grace is always my first response, it is not permission for repeated harm. You may forget a moment. A child will not. And neither will a mother who is paying attention.
(Paige Gurgainers is a mother of three girls, and a digital journalist for Webster Parish Journal.)