Everyone keeps telling me, “this too shall pass.” It is a common phrase people say when they are trying to comfort someone going through a hard time… at the moment…me! (What’s new right?) And I believe them. I really do. I would just like an ETA (estimated time of arrival) on this “passing.”

Because if you’ve ever dealt with anxiety… the real, heart-racing, chest-tightening, can’t-catch-your-breath kind…you know the middle doesn’t feel like something that’s passing any time soon (if ever!)

Last weekend, I found myself in the ER. Not for the first time and not because something was physically wrong… but because my body had fully convinced me that there was.

That’s the tricky thing about anxiety. It doesn’t politely knock and say, “Hey, just a heads up, you’re overthinking again” No, it kicks the door in and sets off every alarm in your body at once.

See above symptoms mentioned above and sprinkle in the fact that your thoughts spiral faster than you can keep up with them. And logic? Logic is nowhere to be found.

In those moments, “this too shall pass” feels less like a promise and more like… a suggestion. A hopeful one, sure…but not one that feels real in the middle of it. Because the middle is where it’s hardest. The middle is where minutes feel like hours. Where your mind convinces you this isn’t temporary. Where you have zero ability to be rational…What if it doesn’t pass this time? What if this is something bigger this time?

We say “this too shall pass” like a period at the end of a sentence. But when you’re living it, it feels like a giant question mark and I think that’s the part we don’t talk about enough.

We love encouraging words. We love quick reminders. We love tying things up neatly with truth…and don’t get me wrong, it is truth. But what about the space between the beginning and the passing? What about the sitting in it?

The deep breaths that don’t quite feel deep enough. The prayers whispered over and over because you don’t know what else to do. The quiet moments where you’re just trying to convince yourself to stay calm… to stay present… to stay. That takes strength too. Actually, if I am being completely honest…it might take the MOST strength.

I’ve learned that passing doesn’t always look like instant peace. Sometimes it looks like choosing not to run. Choosing not to spiral further. Choosing to sit in the discomfort and trust God right there in the middle of it.

Not after it. Not once it’s over. But in it. Because even when it doesn’t feel like it…He’s there too! 

And maybe that’s what “this too shall pass” is really meant to remind us. Not that we need to rush through hard moments or pretend they don’t affect us.. but that we won’t stay there forever. That the feeling or situation isn’t permanent! (Even if it feels like it is!)

I still don’t have an ETA. I still wish I could fast-forward through certain moments, but I’m learning that I don’t actually need a timeline to make it through. Just a little faith…a few steady breaths…and the reminder that even the longest moments… eventually pass.

Even this one.

(Paige Gurgainers is a mom of three girls, digital journalist for Webster Parish Journal.)