It didn’t take long…
School had barely been out for a few days before I heard the phrase that seems to echo through every household once summer begins.
“Mom, I’m bored.”
As soon as those words leave my children’s mouths, I can almost feel the guilt start creeping in. My mind immediately begins racing through a mental checklist of things we could be doing. Should I take them somewhere? Plan an activity? Set up a craft? Load everyone into the car for an adventure? Somehow, their boredom starts to feel like my responsibility.
I think a lot of moms can relate to that feeling. We put an enormous amount of pressure on ourselves to make summer magical. We want our children to have wonderful memories, exciting experiences and stories they’ll tell years from now. We scroll through social media and see summer bucket lists, backyard movie nights, perfectly organized activities and family outings that look straight out of a magazine. Before we know it, we’ve convinced ourselves that if our kids aren’t constantly entertained, we’re somehow falling short.
The funny thing is, when I think back to my own childhood, some of my favorite memories weren’t planned at all.
I grew up in the 1990s, when boredom wasn’t treated like an emergency. There were long summer days when there was absolutely nothing scheduled. My friends and I spent hours riding bikes, building forts, making up games and wandering around outside with no real destination. We weren’t being entertained every second of the day. We were simply figuring out how to entertain ourselves.
Looking back, those moments taught us something valuable.
When kids are bored, they are forced to be creative. They have to use their imaginations. They learn how to solve problems, invent games and create fun out of ordinary things. A cardboard box becomes a clubhouse. A blanket becomes a fort. A random collection of toys becomes an entire world with its own characters and storylines.
As adults, we’ve become so accustomed to filling every empty moment that boredom almost feels uncomfortable. We reach for our phones while standing in line. We turn on the television when the house gets too quiet. We fill our calendars because we’ve convinced ourselves that busy is better.
But children don’t necessarily need every minute scheduled. Sometimes they need space.
They need afternoons that stretch on forever. They need opportunities to stare out the window, daydream and wonder what they can do next. They need time to create something entirely on their own without an adult directing every step.
That’s not to say summer activities aren’t important. I love family trips, pool days, snow cones, baseball games and all the special memories that come with summer break. Those experiences matter. But maybe they don’t have to happen every single day.
Maybe it’s okay if there are afternoons when the kids claim they’re bored.
Maybe it’s okay if the house gets a little messy because they’ve turned the living room into a fort city.
Maybe it’s okay if we stop feeling responsible for being our children’s personal cruise director from June through August.
The truth is, some of the best memories aren’t made when everything goes according to plan. They’re made in the ordinary moments. They’re made when children are given the freedom to explore, imagine and create something for themselves.
So this summer, I’m trying to remind myself that boredom isn’t a problem that always needs solving. Sometimes it’s simply the beginning of something else.
And who knows? Years from now, when my girls look back on their childhood summers, they may not remember every activity I planned. They may not remember every outing or every event.
But they just might remember the random Tuesday afternoon when there was absolutely nothing to do and somehow, they found a way to make it unforgettable.
(Paige Gurgainers is a mom of three girls, digital journalist for Webster Parish Journal.)