We aren’t built for a world where people you love die.
Not equipped to understand it, to accept it, or to reason it away.
Maybe that’s why we’re instructed to bear one another’s burdens (Galatians) and are reminded by the Psalmist that “the Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
We need all the help we can get.
In his book “Listening to Your Life,” the late author Frederick Buechner shared that “in the long run, there can be no real joy for anybody until there is joy for us all.”
No man is an island, and the heart in tune with his brother’s heart shares the load. The heart that’s aware has its work cut out for it. Someone you know is almost always going through some trial, and if we’re listening to our lives, we can’t help but be in tune with that.
We are best when we maintain a “holy posture” (Buechner again) because we never know when we’ll be needed, or how much of us will be needed. We never know the kind of day someone we meet has had, but we do know that everyone else is always going through something.
Maybe we can help lighten the load.
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross was a psychiatrist and pioneer in near-death studies; she invented the theory of the five stages of grief. She said this: “The most beautiful people I’ve known are those who have known trials, have known struggles, have known loss, and have found their way out of the depths.”
Easier said than done. I know. We all know. More importantly, God knows.
If we can help, we are both stronger.
Joseph Scriven was an Irish poet of the early- to-mid 19th century. Not one but two of his fiancées passed away, one in a horse-riding accident, the other of pneumonia. After that, he dedicated his life to helping the destitute. He struggled, but soldiered on. And he also wrote a poem that you’ve come to love as a great hymn:
“What a friend we have in Jesus…”
Depression, loss, relationship misunderstandings, sickness … so many opponents in this world, so many unseen forces. You, beaten and bruised but better, will be able to bless someone by sharing your experience, and by holding their hand, and performing the ministry of presence.
We can hold their hands tighter when we remember that someone is holding ours.
Contact Teddy at teddy@latech.edu