Bring in the clowns 

A funny thing happened this Monday past. A clown car pulled up in front of Minden City Hall and jokesters piled out and entered the building. Shortly after, a Minden City Council meeting broke out.

We’ve seen plenty from our rocker’s perch, but that thing billed as a public body meeting might be one for the books. A Saturday Night Live parody couldn’t come close. We had it all. Prominently displayed was the how-to of consistently voting “no” on worthwhile issues to redefining the words “rude” and “clueless.” Our Classless of 2022 gave us quite a performance.

Golly gee, Mr. Perplexed. There are so many places to start. Let’s begin with what wasn’t on the agenda and still isn’t. Failing to get the necessary unanimous vote to be added for consideration were a couple of items that would have benefitted our fair community, but let’s not let something good get in the way of demonstrative ineffectiveness. 

First item would authorize the city to advertise for bids for the construction of a new animal shelter. A portion of the money for this little compound, a tidy seventy-five thousand, is already on hand in the form of a state grant. 

But a pair of our feckless leaders, displaying typical fecklessity, decided to treat homeless canines like ordinary Minden citizens and “just say no” to using free money for anything. No to adding to the agenda and, potentially, good-bye to another batch of free money. 

You see, unless our floundering few spend that seventy-five thousand by June 30, we lose it. Not to worry, though. Mr. Bradford says we still have time. Ms. TW-W agrees. But if Bradford can show us how we can advertise for bids, award a bid, award necessary permits and unravel other assorted red tape, we’d be interested. 

Forgive a skeptic for believing this isn’t about animal housing. It’s simply another “the mayor wants it so we’re against it” travesty played out for the public. And naturally, neither of our petulant pair feels the need to explain the negative vote. Remember, it’s Bradford who has consistently said he doesn’t have to explain how he votes. And, likewise, Rocker can’t explain why he bothers. 

Next failure seems so peevish as to be bizarre. Ms. Bloxom’s motion to amend the printed agenda to add the adoption of a resolution declaring a National Community Development Week in Mintopia failed for lack of unanimity. Continuing actions that cause head-scratching, Bradford voted against. Again, no reason given. But his vote could have fired a BB-gun across a federally-funded bow.

Declining to declare this special week could possibly hamper (again) Minden’s chances of accessing an important stash of federal cash. Purpose of the special week is to raise awareness of Community Development Block Grant Program and the HOME Investment Partnerships (HOME) Program. There’s nothing nefarious or prejudiced about a few set aside days in April. 

Both programs are designed to help communities with infrastructure and affordable housing needs apply for and obtain federal grants. Apparently there is one person in town who couldn’t care less. While dedicating one week to community development doesn’t guarantee funding for anything, federal eyes love to see local acknowledgement. 

We’re sure grant readers will give special attention to grant requests from the community that “no’s” it’s way around accepting freebies that could add to quality of life. Money? We don’t need no stinkin’ CDBG or HOME money.

We’ve mentioned less than half of how this collection of seatsitters is keeping Hanlon’s Razor finely honed and making us more than a little mifftified about how government isn’t intended to work. Monday’s meeting had much more to offer for those who ask the question, “Huh?”

 Tune in next week, please, when we’ll try to unravel the root cause of Historical hysteria. We will also present the inaugural Ernest T. Bass Rood Award. And, most likely, there’ll be other news coming from the clowns. They just can’t seem to help themselves.