Are you astrologically compatible with your kid?

I am not much on following astrology, but I am convinced after this week that Mercury must be in retrograde (whatever that means) or that perhaps there was a full moon, maybe? 

All I know for sure is that the stars are not aligning properly over here at my house.  

My kids have been on a completely random rampage. Don’t get me wrong, this does happen occasionally, but usually they take turns. I am convinced that they have nightly meetings among themselves and work out which kid’s turn it is to act like a buffoon the next day.  

But this has been a three-team effort lately. They must have decided at their last meeting to mix things up and tag team it. I feel like it perhaps wentsomething like this, “Hey, let’s bring mom right to the edge of losing her marbles over the most absurd things.” 

And I do mean absurd and completely out of the ordinary. 

For instance, Saturday I spent hours getting us all up, dressed, fed and ready to go shopping with my mom. She is literally two minutes from pulling in my driveway, when Ashton comes into the laundry room and tells me that she “accidentally” poured red paint on Kameron.  

I am thinking that maybe they got the paint out and a little bit was on her hands.  

Boy, was I wrong! I walk downstairs and see Kameron sitting at the table with red paint all in her hair and dripping down the side of her head. I didn’t even react at first. I just stood there staring in disbelief. Is this actually happening right now? 

It is usually in these moments that I automatically assume something is going on with the planets.  

I have investigated my own zodiac sign before and surprisingly; it is usually accurate on any given day. I decided to look into the girls’ zodiac signs that evening.  

Emerson is a Sagittarius which supposedly means that she is self-assured, ambitious, non-judgmental, and outspoken. Negative traits include mouthiness, messiness and forgetfulness.  

Ashton is a Gemini. Some of the more positive traits listed for her sign include kind, creative, compassionate and vivacious. Some negative traits were impulsive, sarcastic and dual personality. (I do call her my Sour Patch kid.)  

Kameron is a Taurus. This random astrology website said that meant she was unique, reliable, dedicated and intuitive. The Taurus is also known most for being stubborn, possessive and a little lazy at times.  

So, I decided to dig a little deeper and found a site that described parent-child horoscopes, like what your sign as a parent means and what other signs you are compatible with. Okay, so what if my sign isn’t necessarily compatible with my kids sign and I can tell you right now before even looking that we definitely do not jive all the time over here.  

It said that Libra moms (me) tend to balance their kids out.  

I really do not know what I anticipated to gain from reading this information, but it did warm my heart a little bit.  

So, for Emerson and me, it stated that we relish high-minded pursuits and that our relationship would blossom through laughter and adventure since we both tend to be thrill seekers.  

For my relationship with Ashton, the site said that she would help me to see the world from a different perspective and may eventually take me under her wing in her formative years.  

With Kameron, since both of our signs are ruled by Venus (again, whatever that means), we would connect through the arts like cooking, interior decorating and romanticism. We would go on to appreciate the luxuries of life.  

I really do not believe in all this stuff and mostly just researched this perhaps looking for some kind of excuse as to why my kids had lost their minds simultaneously. Honestly, it was kind of cool and interesting to explore.  

I am hoping that the planets, moon and all the stars will eventually get on the same page so maybe I can stop sleeping with one eye open.  

If you may be interested in checking your parent-child compatibility, here’s where I found the information:  

(Paige Nash is a wife, mother, publisher of Bienville Parish Journal and Claiborne Parish Journal and a digital journalist for Webster Parish Journal, who sleeps with one eye open … if she sleeps at all.)