Mornings at the Nash household can sometimes be a little rough.  I say sometimes, but it would probably be more appropriate to say they are rough 99 percent of the time.  

This morning Ashton received a very quick lesson on the difference between “CAN’T” and “DON’T WANT TO. “ 

For my first example, she was still dozing on and off in her cozy little bed after I told her to get up more than ten times. The eleventh time I had to tell her… let’s just say… got her attention. She says, (while still in the bed I might add), “I CAN’T open my eyes.”  

I reply, “Yes, you can. You just DON’T WANT TO.” 

She eventually rolls out of bed to get dressed, very slowly I might also add. A few minutes later, while I was busy helping the other two find socks, fix hair and gather enough change to make a few dollars for something that is due today and they just so happened to remember right before we were about to head out the door, Ashton starts crying.  

I ask her what her problem is, and she says, “I CAN’T put my pants on.” I reply, “Yes, you can. You just DON’T WANT TO.” 

We eventually get everything sorted out and by this time we are running late. We begin making our way to the car. I buckle up the baby and Emerson hops in the front seat. I glance in my rearview mirror, to make sure Ashton is set and ready to go. She is nowhere to be seen.  

I find her in tortoise mode making her way out of the front door. I roll my window down and tell her to put some pep in her step. She yells, “I CAN’T walk that fast. My legs are still asleep.” So, I yell… (can you guess it?) “Yes, you can. You just DON’T WANT TO.” 

Everyone is finally in the car and ready to go and we are running extremely late. I am annoyed. They are annoyed. We are all annoyed. But alas… it’s time for a life lesson and once again, it turns out it’s not for them, but for me.  

I knew well enough to leave things alone on the car ride to school, but after I dropped them off and headed to work, I started thinking about all of the times I have probably said that I CAN’T do something really when I just didn’t want to.  

I have used that excuse when a friend has asked me to go out for dinner, when I am attempting to stop a bad habit, when my boss has asked me to stay late after work and many other occasions. The truth is I probably could have, but I just did not want to. I may have been afraid to try something new or it may have sounded hard. I would just reply, “Oh, I can’t.” 

That is an excuse and a means of getting myself off the hook for the time being – a cop out, if you will.  

When you say that you CAN’T it implies there is some sort of reasoning, when really sometimes there is no reason. Sometimes, you simply just DON’T WANT TO.  

Ever heard the saying that the word no is a complete sentence?  

Yes, being honest with others (and yourself) is hard sometimes. It is definitely easier to tell your boss you CAN’T stay and work late than saying that you just DON’T WANT TO, but I think it’s good practice.  

I wouldn’t feel right preaching to my kids and telling them to be upfront and honest (even when that means they tell me my hair looks a hot mess, which also happened this morning), when I am not doing it myself. 

I have learned one of the largest distinguishing factors between successful people and the people who claim that they want to be successful is that the word “CAN’T” is not in their vocabulary. When you think about it hard enough, there’s really not a whole lot that you CAN’T do if you want to bad enough. 

I guess technically, I CAN’T be the next Queen of England, but you get my point.

(Paige Nash is a wife, mother, publisher of Bienville Parish Journal and Claiborne Parish Journal and a digital journalist for Webster Parish Journal. And the Queen of ….)