Does anyone feel like self-sabotaging with me? 

No, just me? 

I don’t know why, but sometimes I am just in a self-sabotaging mood. Like I want to make certain decisions just to purposefully make my life harder it seems. I don’t know why I do this to myself. I admit there are times when it is not intentional, but there are other times I knowingly do it.  

For those who may not know already (although I think it is pretty self-explanatory) self-sabotage is a behavior that creates problems in your daily life or undermines your success or life-long goals. In other words, self-destruction! 

My favorite form of self-sabotage seems to be procrastination. Another favorite includes completely overextending myself and then refusing to ask for help. Oh, and I can’t forget spending money when I know damn well, I need to be saving all I can.  

Another thing I just love to do is purposefully ruin certain relationships or opportunities due to just not wanting to face the stressors that come along with them. I guess you can call it a very unhealthy way of coping and I am sure this probably stems from some kind of trauma. But, hey, at least I am self-aware right?? 

There have been so many times in my life where I have just been like, “You know what, I don’t really want to deal with this, so let me just mess it up.” And I do… on purpose.

I went to dinner the other night with a friend, and it had been a while since we had a visit. We were just catching up and I was filling her in on a recent development and she literally said, “Whatever you do, don’t self-sabotage.” Which I guess is a step-up from her usual, “Are you self-sabotaging again?” 

Ugh!

You all know the quote, “When the going gets tough, the tough gets going.” Yea… can’t relate because yes, I am going to get going…. get going right the hell out of whatever situation that is getting tough.  

According to Google, reasons people self-sabotage includes low self-esteem, fear of getting hurt, fear of committing, and coping problems.  

Yes, yes, yes and yes.  

I am pretty sure even writing this column right now is self-sabotage. Although, I do like talking to you guys every week. I am starting to think I may need to see a therapist. 

(Paige Gurgainers is a mother of three girls, publisher of Bienville Parish Journal and Claiborne Parish Journal and a digital journalist for Webster Parish Journal, which means she perilously close to overextending.)